It's getting closer.

It's getting closer. Christmas, that is. I think I would love Christmas if we could just stay here, calm and peaceful like. I would like to have ch's family here for Christmas because they will say and do what they like, and I find that to be much more relaxed. We do have them all up one day between Christmas and the New Year and we alternate between visiting my family for Christmas Day and staying home here. Christmas is not relaxing with my family, you'd think it would be because there is little or no work to be done in preparing for it. I am very on edge the whole time, have to be sure I do the right thing. Everything is set in stone, what time everything happens. My older relatives wish things to be done in a certain way. Nice and proper kind of. I must dress smartly, who am I dressing up for? It is upsetting to see so much money spent at Christmas, everywhere, when there are so many homeless people and those living on a very low income. I'm all for having a special meal, but to go so over the top feels wrong to me. The adverts on tv are telling us we must have this and that. It's ridiculous. I've done all my shopping for gifts online so far. I don't like going out. People don't seem to get that. I say it and they seem to think I mean that I only go out about 7 times a week or something. If I go further and say, no, I mean I. Do. Not. Go Out. they look at me as if I'm crazy (maybe I am). Some will say, oh yeah, I'm like that sometimes. Like what? Clinically depressed and on a bucket of medication? Sorry, rant over.