Okay, very short post today. If you caught a glimpse of me today you would be forgiven for thinking I've lost the plot a little. You see, I know that I will have to be doing more walking to get from a to b, now that I don't have a car. To this end, I thought I would try on my old walking boots for comfort. So here I am traipsing around the house in sloppy old clothes and these huge ginormous boots. They feel SO huge! I can't see this working, I need good reasons for going outside, but big fat clumpy ones.

When I know I'm going to have to do something that I know will pull my mood down, I try to find a little positive to look forward to. It might be something as simple as the top I'm going to wear. Because I'm at home all the time I'm always wearing old clothes, so knowing I can wear something nice can be a lift.

I had a present of a digital keyring several years ago. I loaded it with photos to lift me, they were mostly of my pets and my husband. I could look through these in any situation and it would a) life my mood and b) take my mind away from whatever was stressing me out at that particular moment. It broke down eventually, but was a great tool for me while it lasted. Now I use the photos on my phone for the same reason. They are all of the pets, and there's one of cute husband. It works on so many levels, my lowered head makes me look busy, and kinda 'don't speak to me' and the photos sometimes cheer me up a little.

I'm kind of having a 'wading through soup' sort of a day, do you know what I mean. It's like everything so SO much effort. It's even hard work just to walk up the stairs. I can't think straight, so I apologise if some of this is a little disjointed. I forget everything. I think of something that I need to do, and by the time I reach the next room, it's gone and I have no clue what I was about to do. So embarrassing when talking outside to someone, I completely forget what I was saying. Does this happen to you? What do you do to help in this situation?

One of the annoying things in that situations is having someone say 'oh yeah, I do that all the time'. No. You don't. Not unless you have altzheimers or something. It's perfectly normal to forget stuff, but not this much. When people say that, what I hear is 'oh that's nothing, stop being so silly'. If you're someone with depression I think you know exactly how that makes me feel.

 I'm going to go back to me bed again for a while. I think my mood is sliding backwards a bit, but equally I think I'll feel a bit better when I wake again. Fingers crossed.