Had quite a good Sunday. Stayed in most of the day, just me and the cute husband, didn't really do anything at all. That's what was so good about it. No pressure to go anywhere for most of the day, so no need to pretend and smile and sparkle. I hate that, it's so tiring. Just the extra adrenaline alone wipes me out.
In the evening I went to choir. It has taken two years for me to feel liked there. I kept thinking they didn't really want me there. They had all known one another for years and no-one talked to me. Whilst I know this was pretty much all in my head, and they were chatting with me sometimes, it still impacts on me. I would come away feeling rejected. Reality was that I had to talk to someone in order to instigate a conversation, and I wasn't doing that. With depression I over-analyse so much stuff, it's ridiculous. A huge step forwards is to know that I do it, and make allowances as much as I can. I had a really bad week last week, and this is the tail end of it.
I made it to the mindfulness class this week. Really pleased that I managed to get there. It was good, and because I was early the tutor was able to fill me in on what they'd done last week. Still not practising it at home. Must try to do it a bit, realistically it's not going to happen every day. Wish I could say the reason was because I'm so busy, but it's just hard to get anything done lately.
Going to eat something. I know I feel better if I eat properly. That is so important, but when my mood is low I don't care what I eat.
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