Am feeling absolutely crap today. There's really no logical reason why I should feel so low and so sad.
However, the positives... I'm up. Not actually showered or dressed yet, but I'm up. It's not long after noon here. I've done a couple of minor housework bits. Oh yeah, and I've put my idea into action to stop the kitten peeing behind the sofa. I'm trying to have her not want to walk there, and to that end I've scattered the floor with talcum powder. It's a hard floor, so I'm hoping this will put her off.
Still no further forward with the bathroom though. This is where the elderly cat has been peeing. It's really getting me down. I scrubbed it not end yesterday, but still it smells today. Aside from ripping up the carpet I just don't know what to do. It's going to be the end of August before I can open the cat flaps (kitten not allowed out) and it's going to drive me crazy by then. I guess if I can't sort it out we'll just have to put up with it until August and then find the money for a new carpet.
Money issues are not ideal in the summer break, tch works in schools and has six weeks off. That's great, but being self-employed that also means no wage.
Today I feel that I just don't care. All I really want to do is go back to my bed and pull the duvet over my head.
We have several family birthdays around this time. So it's then time to pull on the happy face and sparkle away! It's my grandson's birthday today and I don't know where to find the motivation to be there. He's a gorgeous little boy, and he's one of the few who call me Nanna. That means such a lot to me. I shall ask tch to stay by my side and try my best.
My dog had a leg amputated in March of this year, due to a lump which turned out to be cancer. Last weekend I found another lump, in her side or maybe in her upper GI tract. The vet took a sample on Monday and they will ring with the results. Scary.
I think maybe the whole dog thing is affecting me more that I thought it would. That's because today, as well as being grandchild's birthday, was our other dog's birthday. Now, I'm not crazy enough to celebrate the dog's birthday, but we always used to tell our grandson that he shared his birthday, and that the dog was only a little older that him. If you're not a pet person, I don't expect you to understand, but thinking about him, and worrying about this one's new lump, I think it's pulled me down a lot. I was already low and this hasn't helped.
My mental health worker is on holiday this week and so cannot take me to the craft club today. I'm glad, because I don't want to go out, but I wonder whether it would have lifted my mood a little if I'd had to push myself to go. Well, I'm going to have to push myself to go out to my stepdaughter's later, so we'll see how that goes. Meantime, I think I'm going to go back to my bed for a while, switching off will be good. Sometimes I wake up a bit better.
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