So very tired but trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel (is that a train?)

Terrible day, very little sleep last night. Trying to help ch finish an essay, doing some typing for him. Very glad to be able to be of some help, but feeling very shitty today now. I don't know how he managed to go off to work today, it's been all I can do to string a sentence together.

Even so, giving my mind something else to think about has been good for me, I think. My touch-typing is self taught really, I bought a disc over the internet a couple of years ago. I was up to a whoop-de-do level of 30wpm, but I have to look down to see the numbers. Doing some of the bibliography was a laugh. Not. But it's doing something different, and that's really good.

Doing stuff like this really brings it home to me that I'm going to find it hard to return to work eventually. I definitely need to man up! When I'm well enough I'll have to get up early and be busy all day, so I can think straight when I have to do this at work. I think that's a while yet, but not too long I hope. As the ch commented recently, this time last year I was unwell and very stressed.

As regards medical peeps, no-one is really overseeing my mental health care. I see the psychiatrist annually for a review but that's only because I'm taking lithium. If it weren't for that she would have discharged me completely. As it is, she discharged me to the care of my gp about 2 years ago, apart from the review. The gp does not see me at all. I just request repeat prescriptions from the pharmacy, and pick the meds up from there. So I'm overseeing myself.

I have been so very very thankful for our nhs system. Where I live, we do not pay for meds. If I had to pay for them I think it would be around £40 a month, and there's no way I could afford that. Where do you live? Do you have to pay for your meds? How do you manage/budget for them?

On the plus side, I have at least started my Christmas shopping. All online. That makes me feel better, to have made a start. I wouldn't mind a trip into town to see the lights etc. but I can't cope with the shops, too busy.

So, here's hoping the top of my head doesn't explode with the reduced meds. Time will tell.

Take care, all that are reading this. You're all special. And I don't mean than in a 'licking the windows' kind of way!