Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Depression hits hard.

I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning. Like a whirlpool it's going round. It's making me dizzy, doo bee dee doo. I did a wonderful impression of a well person today. Held conversations (plural!) and stuff. Why is this stuff so bliddy hard?
 
My mental health worker, E, picked me up this morning and took me to the craft club. All the way there she told me about her son and his college info. I looked at the gutter we were driving past and wanted to be there. Anywhere but on the way to the craft club. I wanted to stay at home and be left alone. But we went and I smiled and chatted, as you do. Tried not to look at the clock all of the time. I took some craft stuff to do, an image to colour, but couldn't do anything. I couldn't think straight enough to do it. I've said I'll see them again next week, I hope things are a bit better then.

Bathed the dog when I got home, she's got several bald patches coming, so I think she'll have to go back to the vet tomorrow. Funny whatever this skin condition is, that it should develop all of a sudden.

The bathroom still stinks, although not so bad now. I've bleached the carpet again and that's improved it a bit.

In short, everything feels like crap really. I always try to see a positive in any situation, but I can't do it this time. When I was at the craft club my shoulders were hurting from the tension so much.  Maybe the pain from my back is affecting the way I feel. I took painkillers before I went out this morning but they wore off by midday. That wears me down, the back pain. Maybe that's what has contributed to this crap mood.

No comments:

Post a Comment