Still here

Still here, still breathing. Still crying far too much :(

I'm trying to drink less. I don't drink alcohol, meds seem to make wine taste funny. No, I mean plain old fruit squash. Weak squash at that. It's weak to reduce the sugar intake even lower, tho I buy the no added sugar stuff anyway. It's just, I'm drinking far far too much in a day. At a guess I'd say I drink about 10-15 pints in 24 hrs. If only that was pure water, I'd have the most perfect complexion ever! I get SO thirsty, probably the diabetes has a lot to do with that. Today I've tried to drink sips instead of gulps. Not easy. You know when your skin goes all wrinkly in the bath? Well I'm pretty sure that's what my insides must look like now.

The crying might be a little better, not sure. I don't think I've cried as much today as yesterday. I'm sure somebody somewhere would suggest that's because I've been taking in less fluids!

Any little thing can set me off. I'm trying to install security software and getting frustrated with it. I can't see how to get in activated on my hudl. The software's designed for laptops, tablets etc. so it shouldn't be a problem. It's always the same, when something goes the tiniest bit wrong, I cry. Makes me sound like a petulant child.

Thanks for all of your helpful comments after my request yesterday. Not. I can see you, y'know. I can see how many read my posts, but not one fecking person can take a moment to help. Thank you, from the bottom of my, well, bottom really. Who gives a shit? Certainly no-one here, that's for sure. I shall just go back to talking to myself then. It helps just to write this down, so I'll most likely continue with this. Now though, I know there is NO help and NO support out there.

As you might just be able to tell, I'm utterly demotivated and demoralised. So feck off and read someone else's blog. Upset them instead.

Well, go on then! Sitting there, reading my inner emotions and hiding out of sight. Shall I do it to you? Let you see that I've been reading your posts and then discard you without a word? No, because I'm not like that. I'd like to think that I'd try to help, offer a supporting comment. Not leave you alone and hanging.

So fuck right off.